For a pdf version of the full libretto of The Fairy Hoax, please contact Tom Diggs directly at TDiggs5555@aol.com.

The Fairy Hoax

The following excerpt is the opening scene of The Fairy Hoax:

a new musical

words by TOM DIGGS

music by JAY D'AMICO

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

(01) OVERTURE PROLOGUE

From the overture …

1917. In the woods by a stream. We hear the sweet gurgle of a nearby beck (stream).

DULCIE appears, a young teen-age girl on the brink of being a woman, smart, beautiful and hopeful. She appears in a dark dress with a very colorful scarf.

She sings …

(02) ONCE UPON A WIND / DREAM A WAY HOME

DULCIE

once upon a wind

a northerly, westerly wind

in the north of eNgland
magic dwells
once upon a wind

ONCE UPON A WIND

A NORTHERLY WESTERLY WIND

WAS the sort of BREEZE

STIRRING spells

ONCE UPON A WIND

While she continues to sing, DULCIE takes an actinometer from her pocket, a small cylinder she looks through, and then reads the side. An actinometer is a light meter.

How does a dreamer

La LA LA LA LA

HMM MM MM MM MM

return to a dream

And what of the YOUNG Girl

She likes what she sees, so she continues to sing, looking through and double-checking the actinometer.

LA LA LA LA LA

When DOES the young Girl

DREAM A WAY home -

FRANCIS has appeared, not unattractive, he wears a pair of bottle-thick eyeglasses that make him look nerdier than he actually is. He is only a year younger than DULCIE, but she comports herself in a way that makes her seem light years ahead of him.

Thinking he is unseen by DULCIE, FRANCIS plops himself down on a log and reads a large picture book.

DULCIE, however, spies him through the actinometer and stops singing abruptly.

DULCIE

This is my special place!

DULCIE pockets the actinometer as FRANCIS immediately hides the book under his sweater.

FRANCIS

I have just as much right to trespass as you!

DULCIE

I’m sure the owner of this place would prefer me being here to you.

FRANCIS

Why are you being so mean?

DULCIE

‘Cause you’re sitting in my favorite spot.

FRANCIS moves to the side to share the spot on the log. She joins him.

DULCIE (cont.)

I come here to be by myself.

FRANCIS

Me too. Why can’t we just be here alone together?

DULCIE

I seen you about - in town, school, and all.

FRANCIS

Seen you too. I’m Year 7.

DULCIE

Year 9. Never seen you out here.

FRANCIS

I don’t generally stay - when people are here.

DULCIE

But you did today, huh. Must be some special book under your jumper.

FRANCIS

It’s not what you’re thinking.

DULCIE

Show it.

FRANCIS

You’ll mock me - like all the blokes at school.

DULCIE

Promise not to tell.

Francis

And you’ll let me stay here?

Dulcie

We can be here, alone … together.

Francis

And –

Dulcie

Enough barter! Show me what you got.

FRANCIS hands her the book and they start to look through it.

DULCIE(CoNT’D)

Princess Mary’s Gift Book?

FRANCIS

For cut-outs.

DULCIE

(laughing)

What are you doing with fairy pictures?

FRANCIS (CONT’D)

No laughing!

DULCIE

Sorry. Shouldn’t you be out playing rugby with your mates?

FRANCIS

I bruise easy.

DULCIE

You could play cricket, be a wicket-keeper, wear the special gloves.

FRANCIS

I tried all that. It’s not worth it.

DULCIE

You don’t have to hide out in the woods all day.

FRANCIS

I don’t have to do anything. What was it I saw you doing just now?

DULCIE

Not your business.

FRANCIS

Then why are you out here?

Dulcie

It’s so beautiful out here. - If you don’t have to be doing anything out here, I don’t have to be doing anything either. So there.

FRANCIS

So there yourself!

Dulcie

You come out to the woods just to read your silly fairy book?

FRANCIS

Not just.

DULCIE

You here for the pretty nature, too?

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